FMF: BLAME

 Hello, blog world I haven't been on here in forever, but today's prompt reminded me that I used to love this space. So here goes nothing...

Five minutes to write and one word prompt

Blame, it has been a hard, rough, stressful two weeks. I won't go into details, but suffice to say that I have a lot to learn about management. I could sit here and blame everyone else, but that isn't how the moving forward process works. I instead am here to own my part, I don't believe I am to blame for everything, but what I did was not acceptable, it was a rookie mistake and was more hurtful than helpful. I am moving forward from this and learning. I have actually spent the last two weeks feeling sorry for myself, having a pity party my husband has said, and then picking myself up and moving forward. I have been doing some therapy, some talking to friends, some self-care, some helping others, reaching out and reminding myself that one bump in the road is not my forever it is part of my story but not something to dwell on. I used to say at the office all the time when someone made a mistake, we don't do brain surgery we didn't kill anyone so move on. And I am standing by that, I didn't kill anyone, but I do want to apologize for hurting feelings, because that is hard for me to process. I am a people pleaser much to my detriment usually, but being mean is not something I like I have worked hard in life to not be a mean person. 

Lesson Learned: Don't blame yourself or others, own your part in the story and move forward. Be Better!

Green

 Linking up to Five Minute Friday, this week's prompt is Green

So many meanings one tiny five letter word, perfect for Five Minute Friday

Green as in the color of the fields in the spring

Green under the gills because she is seasick

Green as in the newbie worker

Green thumb

I love new green experiences as they are what you make of them. I can have a terrible time or try something new and see what happens. About 3 years ago we took a little family vacation on our way back from Idaho and we stopped and went zip-lining it was one of those things I was terrified to do. My husband and girls are adrenaline junkies, their wife and mama not so much. Pair that along with the fact that I truly hate heights and ziplining seemed like one of the worst experiences to ever come my way. However after walking thru all the safety stuff having them check and double check and watching the instructor go I thought OH I CAN DO THIS. And I did and it was so much fun, it was exhilarating and peaceful up there above the tree tops. 

Go enjoy some new green experience this weekend.

Enable

 Do you enable them? This is the question that came to mind when I saw the word for today. And the answer is maybe, I enable lots of people in my life to do what they do. Whether that is good or bad will remain a mystery for now. 

I enable my children who are 18 to be children. they are responsible have jobs, keep grades, are respectful engaging and genuinely good. They are seniors in high school, and with COVID have had a rough time junior and senior year haven't been what they should have been. So yes I enable them to grab any opportunity to have regular fun. 

I enable my husband to follow his dreams, because I believe in him. Once he sets his mind to something he might not always take the easy route, but he always takes the route that gets him where he wants to go and live this amazing life we have been blessed with. 

So enabling is not always bad, I don't enable those around me to break the law or hurt others. I enable them to live life, to enjoy the small things, but mostly to make memories. Because when we are gone from earth what we leave behind is the memories. 

You can read other Five Minute Friday posts here

Observant

 How observant are you with those around you? I would say I am sometimes too observant, I take little changes in mood, body language to heart. I am always feeling like I am not enough, maybe this is a mom thing, a wife thing, a friend thing, but it always feels like I could be better so I am overly observant. 

When did I lose being me, knowing that I am trying my hardest and that sometimes my hardest isn't going to be good enough, but that is OK. When did I become so wrapped up in everyone else and the world around me, waiting watching hoping praying, but never do that for me but for others. Being observant is so many things, but sometimes we need to be more observant of ourselves, taking care of ourselves, listening and watching our bodies and minds. Because we are so important to so many people around us, that if we aren't observant of ourselves sometimes we fail more. 

I am challenging all of you to observe yourselves, not your friends, kids, husbands, families, but just you. For a day pay attention to you I think it will help reduce your stress, remind you that you are an amazing human being.

You can read other blogs that wrote about this adventure of Five Minute Friday here

Day 9 - Trust

It is Friday!!! Thank Goodness, I have been thinking of today's word most of the day. Not sure what will happen when I start typing but let's hope it is readable.

TRUST

I say it over and over, I want to be able to trust my kids and have them trust me in return.  I think that trust is the most important thing in any relationship and my relationship with my daughters' I don't want to be any different.  Thankfully, in 13 years we have only had some minor fibbing, like me asking did you brush your teeth and them saying yes, and then when I go check toothbrushes they are bone dry because my mom intuition said they were fibbing. I can't handle that I don't like and and I am pretty vocal so they know. Bigger things like did you stay at so and so's house or are you smoking would become a jury and trial matter. My kids know their dad and I can grab their phone at any time and look at their text messages, and I have it set up so I can see them all online. Thankfully I don't have to really if they are questioning something or know they aren't supposed to they don't. We don't allow texting during school, they are there to learn and their education is very important to us. During lunch or letting me know they are leaving is cool but texting friends or anybody pretty much besides their dad and I during school is a grounding and mom/dad choice chore offense.  The phones are not mandatory just a convenience as we don't have a land line.  Trust is so important once it is broken it has to be earned back and that is not an overnight magic trick it is a long slow process. Let me instill the value of trust in my kids and I feel I have succeeded.

What do you think of when you hear the word TRUST?

31 Days of Blogging

So I normally link up to "Five Minute Friday", it keeps me active on here, makes me think, and sometimes just lets me say whats on my mind without editing and rewriting. Yes, that last part is kind of dangerous I am one of those people that needs to be edited sometimes, just me is pretty scary and too real for most people.

I am following this...

Lost

Linking up with Five Minute Friday, where we write for 5 minutes about whatever comes to mind no planning, no editing, just writing.

Word: Lost

Ready, Steady Go

I don't have to think about this too much it has been on my mind for some time now. I am lost without my workouts, putting on weight, getting saggy and baggy, and not feeling energized.  Well I sent a call for help out this morning to my best girlfriends, they are up at the crack of dawn well some of them are (wink to Molly, no kids no wake up early). I have been thinking about this and 5:15 would be a good time to get up get a good 30 minutes or maybe more in and still be able to do all the other fun things I do in the morning some of which I could do at night to make my mornings easier. I have receive a couple responses but I will wait until tonight my girlfriends work too you know so responding to my text message about needing a wake up text message in the morning is not high on their priority list. Love those girls, love that I can share my struggles with them and they don't judge me and love that I believe in myself enough to know when I need help and I have the strength to ask for it no matter what the circumstance. Give me 4 weeks and this lost feeling will go away and I will be back on my path to health and body love!!

Stop

What are your thoughts on this word? Please share them either in your own blog or in my comments I would love to read them.

Release

It is that time again, Five Minute Friday with Lisa-Jo.

Today's word RELEASE

Ready Steady Write

Five minutes of writing and releasing my thoughts onto paper or in this case a computer screen.  I know I have a story to tell sometimes though it is not nice to share. But writing is definitely my release, it is a stress reliever and most times I do my best thinking while I am writing.  One day all of these negative thoughts will be released probably on paper with a pencil or pen in hand so that they can be burned as they don't need to be read by anyone they just need to be written down so that they are out of my head. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this way but when I write stuff down and physically get the words on paper it releases the thoughts and the temptation to go somewhere that nobody needs to go. Life will deal with the good, bad, and the ugly in it's own time and my thoughts on matters don't always need to be voiced.

Stop

Blog Plan

Back to blogging, I have been trying to figure out a way to get in more of a groove with my blogging but I keep struggling, sometimes it is because I go with the saying that if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. Sometimes it is out of pure laziness, sometimes it is because I am so busy living my life and spending time with my family I don't have time to blog about it.  Not that life isn't worth blogging about in fact quite the opposite I have lots of moments that I am like "Oh, I should write about this."  However not all my great ideas or wonderful stories make it to print.  So to help my good intentions and maybe keep some sanity and save some of these wonderful memories for my girls my blog needs a routine a series or two, maybe! I am not promising anything more than to try so here we go...

Mondays - Random Word of the Week

Tuesday - Recipe Randomness

Wednesday - Few of My Favorite Thing

Thursday - Throwback Thursday

Friday - Five Minute Friday

Saturday/Sunday - Weekend or Week Recap

P.S. I am looking for a couple of guest posts if any of my readers would like to share their blog on my blog please send me an message!!