Friday, November 4, 2011

Graysen Christopher Clark - 21 Weeks Old

I think I need to write this to get out the grief I feel, the pain that I cannot imagine as he is not my baby, but he is family and he was taken too soon.  Graysen is the first child for my cousin Alex and her husband Ashton; they are stationed in North Caroline currently as Ashton is a Marine.  Why this is important to my story I am not sure but I felt the need to share.  They are newlyweds, young and so in love and were so excited to welcome Graysen into this world and their lives.  God had another plan however and as I do not understand what the greater plan is I know it included Graysen going to live with Him, I am glad Graysen is with God as I know he is being taken care of and loved on and will be watching over us, but all of this doesn’t make it any easier to lose him.  I never got to meet Graysen but I can say I loved him, love him still.  I nicknamed him Three as he is my third cousin and I couldn’t wait for Alex to come back to Helena and celebrate with a baby shower and see her growing belly and when the inevitable deployment occurred I knew her plan was to come back to Helena so there was plenty of spoiling that was going to occur, now there is sadness and maybe even a little anger.  I know it is a stage of grief but really anger but I do definitely feel a little anger that he was taken so soon, taken from our family but mostly taken from his mommy and daddy.  And there is immense sadness, I can’t stop crying the question of why, why them, why him, why any baby.  I prayed so much last night and today, and although I know in my heart my prayers were answered they weren’t answered in the way that I wanted or hoped they would be answered and I am just heartbroken.  Graysen you will always be missed by your mommy and daddy and by us your extended family, you will be our angel in the sky.  Please watch over your parents as they take the first steps in the bumpy road ahead of them, remind them always that there is a greater plan and that the plan God has for you is way better than anything we here on earth could have dreamed up.  We love you .... now, forever and always!!

2 comments:

  1. that was an amazing post i consider Alex my best friend and my sister so as her sister i was devastated and reading this helped me alot thank you. Graysen aunt Emily loves you and Alex you are and always will be in my thoughts and prayers.A piece of my heart will forever be stolen by the little boy "baby bean" with the soccer player feet.

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  2. A beautiful blog. Tried to post a comment earlier, still can't. Losing a child is losing a part of our soul and we will never be the same. Graysen was a gift to be treasured always. We who do not know his parents can only send them our prayers and in our hearts know this "Special Child" was sent for a reason. We may never understand God's purpose, we can only Believe he has one.

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Supermom, Superwife, Superhuman, nah not so much

I used to love this term and maybe even if I am being honest with myself wanted to live up to that dream.  The dream that you can do it a...