Friday, March 29, 2013

Broken

So I started participating in this new series last week called Five Minute Friday the link is at the bottom of this post.  But before I get started I have to say how her one word prompts have just fit into my world so far so perfectly. So here we go...

Broken

I am feeling broken lately, this post might be too personal too much to whiny to oh poor pitiful me. But I feel broken.  I am not as organized as I have been in the past I am not as on top of my house my kids schedules being a wife anything, I feel behind on everything. The housework I can get over, not being on top of my kids schedules, like missing Lauryn's play at school on Monday really bothers me, I can make excuses and remind myself that no other parents showed up either but that doesn't make me feel any better. Man I need to get my act together.

Then there is the wife issue, lately my husband has been saying I am old and telling me I act old, I have a habit of taking things very personally, and this has gotten me in trouble but him saying this is really hurting my feelings. I know he loves me but sometimes I worry that he is not in love with me that maybe he needs a younger wife one that is more daring, more adventurous, more spontaneous. Oh who the heck knows I just am in a funk lately and having my feelings hurt seems like a good place to lay the blame.

I am broken like so many other people and I want to just admit it and try to fix it. I am not perfect I have no hopes of ever being as that sounds boring, I just want to feel confident in my marriage in my parenting and in life. Lately that seems like a struggle.

Wow for a little honesty and self pity, because I guess in typing this I realize we are all allowed a little self pity, just as long as I am not wallowing in it :)

Funny now I feel like shopping or eating now, but I don't feel as broken. Writing is my release my therapy my down time. Now on to laundry, paperwork, shopping and loving!!

I linked up today with Lisa for Five Minute Friday, come join us!!

8 comments:

  1. We all have those days/weeks/months when we feel this way. I do! All too often I try to find my worth in my housekeeping, my marriage, my schedule. But I never find it there. It's only in Jesus. :) And when I realize that, everything seems to fall into place. Laundry included!

    Happy Easter weekend to you!

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    1. Thank you for visiting my blog and for the wonderful reminder.

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  2. We definitely all have those times in our lives! I find normal, everyday tasks can suddenly seem so overwhelming and I end up falling behind and getting in a mess. I would 100% recommend taking a step back, taking stock, having a moment to breathe and meditate and remember that at the end of the day it's just stuff and it can wait a day or two! I hope you can find peace in the comments your husband is saying, when you're already feeling down it can suck to have someone you love making asides! Sorry, think I've rambled enough!!

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    1. No rambling it all made sense to me. thank you for visiting my blog and for being real.

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  3. Aww..
    We all go through this sista!

    I myself went through this and wrote about in a draft piece.. let me share some of it with you:
    "
    I’m on a new journey, a new mission. I try to carve out the path from my past. It just doesn’t fit/



    I’m no longer 20. Drinking and going out are no longer fun.



    Sex is not all there is.



    Looking good is no longer important.



    To get through these days, I need:



    · To be kind



    · To sympathize



    · To let God make my dreams come true



    · To make others’ dreams come true



    · To play



    · To get messy



    · To build a great childhood for my kids...



    · To do nice generous things for someone



    · To serve in an extraordinary way even when it’s inconvenient.



    · To give without expectation.



    · To love and be loved.



    · To accept
    "

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    1. I love this hope you post it and don't leave it in draft form. thanks for visiting my blog.

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  4. Thanks for being real in your post.

    I remember once reading a quote that said "revealing your feelings is the beginning of healing." I think sometimes that very thing is more true nowadays because of blogging than it ever was before because people have other outlets to share in, and sometimes some of the things that might have so much power when kept inside and not spoken lose some of that when we just acknowledge them.

    Anyway, just wanted you to know you were 'heard' - even if I was reading it weeks later!

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    1. Sharing my thoughts helps me clear my head. thanks for visiting and I love your blog.

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